FEAR the TREE!

The tailgate for the Oregon State game went very well.  Besides Stanford winning and securing the #4 ranking in the BCS poll, Aukie's pastrami had huge interest!

The above pix is a good glimpse of the "outside kitchen with the brisket bong".  I did not need to put the tubing in water since the temperature was cool and it rained for most of the time.  I was out there for 24 hours.  I slept in the back of the minivan.

Here are the steps I took after I got the fire going, and hunkered down for a good 24 hour smoke.

I opened the cured pastrami packages and gave them one last good rub before I put them on the smoker.

Here is the brisket after the "final rub", and before i put it into the cold side of the smoker.  I did find that the best technique is give the meats a long cold smoke on the cold side (approx 100 degrees), and then a braise on the hot side (approx 220 degrees).  I am definitely getting a better understand on how to use the Brisket Bong.

Here is the turkey in the "turkey rub box" for the final rub before going on the cold smoker.  The correct amount of rub is very tricky.  The small piece can get over flavored, but all in all everyone seemed to enjoy the samples I gave away.  The dark meat turkey Pastrami was particulalry poplular.

I put the turkey in tin foil and on the top rack of the cold smoker.  I wanted to be very careful not to have the brisket drippings from the fat get on the Turkey.  I think I was successful in keeping the meats seperated so the flavors did not get mixed up.  The cold smoker side easily fit the 6 half-brisket, 3 turkeys butchered(breast, thigh and leg meat), and 4 blocks of cheese.

Here is a good shot of the cold side with the turkey in foil.  You cannot see the brisket next to it.  Also, the top grill with the cheese is not shown.






It was a great experience.  The meat came out great, and I really enjoyed hanging out with the other tailgaters.  Everyone who stopped by to ask about the smoker enjoyed the sample sandwiches I was giving out.  Everyone thought it was still for making moonshine.

The Golden Ticket

Dear Lunchers,

I made another executive decision!  Fans of Aukie's will be called Lunchers from now on.  The nickname reminds me of Lurch from the Adamms Family.  I am almost positive that I ate next to Lurch at Katz's on a "blurry" friday night in the early 1990s after catching a Bad Brains show at the old Ritz. 

As I remember, Lurch ate a Pastrami/Corned Beef combo with fries and a chocolate egg cream soda.  We grinned at each other because we both liked the half-sour tomatoes you get for free when you order a sandwich at Katz's.

Papa Was a Rollin' Stone

Here is the deal with the Blog and my Pastrami making operation.  My neighbors hate the cold smoker.  It fills their homes with brisket infused smoke.  Personally, this smell makes me "high", but the freaky lady who lives above me goes ballistic.  She shouts at me when I smoke my meat, and complains to the landlord.  Therefore, I have decided to take the show on the road...

The cold smoker is portable.  I can throw it in my minivan, and find interesting locations throughout Northern California to set up shop.  This will provide hours of good blogging.  My plan is to take "The Brisket Bong" to state parks and other locations throughout Northern California where I can smoke in peace.  Hopefully, someone will offer me an empty space where I can get the peace of mind I need to smoke meat for 24 hours, but until then I will have to drive around Northern California looking for good smoking spots.  Fortunately, there are miles and miles of coastline and wilderness not to far from my home. 

As a test run before I head into the wilderness, I have decided to try the portable smoking operation at Stanfurd's last home game this weekend.  I have a Golden Ticket that will get me into the primo tailgating location outside the stadium for this Saturday's finale against Oregon State. (Big thanks to my cousin Todd for giving up his tickets.  He can take his kids to a basketball game or something.. I need that parking pass!) 

I will be blogging on my laptop from the tailgate which I plan to set up on Friday afternoon.  So check back if you want to find my location so you can drop by to taste my meat.   I will not be giving away too much Pastrami because I want to give it time to rest after smoking it so that the flavors fully develop.  I also want to create the vacuum sealed packages so it can be properly distributed to my "Lunchers" all over the world.  However, I will throw some steaks, ribs, and sausages on the hot side of the "The Brisket Bong" for visitors to enjoy if they stop by my tailgate.

Update on the Turkey Pastrami

The turkey breasts are ready for the rub.  They dried out nicely after the brine.  I just love the aromatic fragrance the meat has after the juniper berry brine.  These are nice thick pieces of white meat turkey, and will make good Pastrami. 

In this container are the pieces of dark meat from the turkeys.  I was careful when I butchered them to get nice pieces of thigh and leg meat.  I removed all tendons and bone to get clean and neat pieces of meat. 
I added lemon zest to the rub for the turkey pastrami.  I thought a little citrus flavor might add a nice touch.  I bought 12 lemons for about $2.25 and I made plenty of dried lemon zest.  5 oz bottles in the spice rack where selling for $7... suckers !!

You know what is gonna happen now!  Rub-a-dub-dub... stroke that meat so that every inch is covered with flavor!

Add a schmatter of garlic and wrap them tightly with plastic.  I am creating cocoons of flavor around the turkey pastrami.

Here are all of the Turkey pastramis.  Breast, thigh and leg meat nicely trimmed and in their little blankets of flavor. 


SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! 


Don't they look like kilo "bricks" of cocaine?  I feel like Tony Montana after he just got to Miami, and had his first successful coke deal. 

Here is the stocked mini-fridge full of Turkey and Brisket Pastrami.  They will hang out there until gameday, and I get the fires going at the Stanford tailgate. 

ASIDE: The BCS is gonna screw Stanford even though we have the best offensive line in College Football.  The Rose Bowl should be Stanford v. Wisconsin.  Too bad the powers that control College Football care only about money.  It is bullshit that they stripped Reggie Bush of his Heisman, too.

Please remember to CLICK on the Ads so I can pay for shipping meat to the "Lunchers".

Gmen v. Filthadelphia Birds

A good late game in Filthadelphia tonight.  Let's hope Justin Tuck breaks Michael Vick's dog-abusing face!

As you might figure, I listen to lots of sports radio.  This was particularly enjoyable during the San Francisco Giants amazing World Series victory this year.  I would have loved to seen the Yankees beat the Giants for baseball's ultimate prize, but i gotta thank Los Gigantes for providing the whole Bay Area with an awesome sports viewing experience. 

One of the biggest pricks on sports radio (there are many) has got to be Jim Rome.  It makes sense that an asshole of this proportion would be from Los Angeles.  If you have ever listened to Rome then you know that he calls his listeners, "The Clones".  I could never dial-in to "Rome is Burning", and have this prick refer to me as a "Clone".  I would much prefer to be a Howard Stern "Wack Packer" than a Jim Rome "Clone".

Regardless, the concept of giving a nickname to followers does seem like a good idea for a Blog.  Unfortunately, at this point, it appears the only followers of Aukie's blog are two good friends and my ex-wife.  That sounds more like a "menage-a-trois" than a legion of fans.  However, I am trying to come up with a good nickname for my Pastrami lovers.  Let me know if you have any good ideas for a nickname for the legion of carnivores who will soon discover Aukie's Pastrami. 

I am struggling here... "Gourmets" sounds like something from a Williams and Sonoma catalogue.  "Epicureans" sounds like Caligula's grape-eating perverts.  "Mentshes" sounds like you just read a good Torah portion at your Bar Mitzvah.  "Carnivores" is to broad and visions of Barney haunt me.  I will keep working on a nickname for you, but please let me know your thoughts. I will not degrade my followers since they must have sophisticated palates if they are Pastrami conniseurs.

Also, CLICK ON THE ADS!!  I get money for the click-thrus and I will use this for shipping the pastrami to you.  So, if you are a taste tester..CLICK ON THE ADS.. Please :)

I'm in love with a man... a man called God.

I cut up and brined the turkeys tonight before I watched "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia".  It would be fun to hang out with Green Man.  We could tend the fire in the cold smoker, discuss old girlfriends and talk baseball.

Here is what I did today:

Took defrosted Turkeys out of the fridge, sharpened my knife, and put those butchery skills to work.

Butchered them up.  Taking breast meat, thigh meat and drumstick meat off the bone for the Pastrami brine.  The other parts I will use for stock.

Bucket of pieces for Pastrami!

Bucket of parts and carcasses for stock. I did a good job of getting the meat off the bone.  My grandpa would have been proud of how I broke down these birds.

Parts for Pastrami in the brine.  I think the thigh meat is gonna be really tasty as Pastrami.  Will let the turkey meat Brine for about 72 hours.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLIE KELLY!

Separated at Birth?

One of these two are gonna get butchered under my knife tomorrow.  I gotta few Thanksgiving birds at the market today.  Gonna butcher them up and get the breasts and other pieces into a brine tmw.  The carcasses will be used for stock.  If someone told me the gravy I was eating was made from Larry David demi-glace, I would immediately complain.  But, then I might think, "Pretty good. Pret-ty pret-ty pret-ty good."

Rub-a-Dub-Dub

Ok..let's get down to bizness.  We can leave my relationship with my mother for the shrinks office, and it is time to drop the comedy schtick so we can get down to work. Time to lock in on why we are here... PASTRAMI

Today, I rubbed the briskets, and they are now in the curing fridge to sit for at least 10 days.  I could let them cure longer, but 240 hours should gives us the time we need to reach the flavor we are seeking so desperately.  Let's walk through the steps I took today to get the meat settled in for a good long curing period.

STEP 1

After letting the meat dry out for about 36 hours from the brine, they really smelled great. The texture of the meat was shiny, a bit sticky, and had that aged look about it. They were in perfect shape, and ready for the rub.

STEP 2

I mixed up the spices for my rub.. coriander, black pepper and garlic are the pillars of the Pastrami flavor. My rub is simple. It consists of coriander, black pepper, garlic, brown sugar, paprika, yellow mustard seeds, and cumin. I am curious if anyone has any ideas for additional flavors that I might try in my pastrami rub.

STEP 3

In this picture, the dried meat and spice are in a hotel pan. This is where my bear like paws can really payoff. It is time to really work that spice into the meat.

STEP 4

I really pressed those spices into the meat. I made sure the cracked pepper was interspersed throughout the whole brisket. I made sure we got a nice cover of the spice rub all over the meat. A good heavy even coverage will ensure that every centimeter of flesh is giving all its energy to the curing process.

STEP 5

Next, the rubbed brisket is put on plastic wrap, schmeared with another few dollops of minced garlic, and then cater-wrapped nice and tight. The goal here is to create a cocoon for all those flavors to drool and get nice and sloppy all over each other during the curing stage.

STEP 6

Here is an example of a nice tightly wrapped, rubbed brisket. It is ready for a long cure period. The spices will create a nice pool of flavor that the meat will suck in as it is wrapped securely in this cocoon-like package.

STEP 7

I have nice stack of six 12lb briskets in plastic cocoons that are rubbed and ready for the curing fridge. Let the slow process of curing begin! As we sleep and go about our busy lives, these briskets will mature with flavor and make their way to the next stage in the pursuit of Pastrami.

STEP 8

Locked and loaded.. my briskets are put into plastic bags just in case the cocoons leak. The little "curing" fridge which I found for free on Craigslist is full of meat now. These Briskets are curing. They are now on their slow 240 hour march to the next stage in the Pastrami process. It's kind of like the different stages in the tour de france.. it should be called the "tour de flavor".

Now that the briskets are tucked away and curing in their plastic wrap cocoons, I can sit back and watch some good old biker violence on TV thanks to the Sons of Anarchy... These biker clubs are always having bonfires and parties with barbecue pits.. I wonder if they have cold smokers too?

My mom thinks I am vulgar

Boy, did i get a tongue lashing today.   Let's just say that my mom does not understand how a respectable well-educated boy from Westchester, NY could talk in such a way.  "Aukie was not like that at all... He would never talk in such a manner around people!",  I was told I need to be more respectful of my grandfather plus my grammar and spelling is simply atrocious.

  My mom on Rosh Hashanah.  Look at the size of that Challah!

Hey Ma.. this is gonna be a wild ride so put on your seatbelt.  To create the perfect pastrami, i will have to dig deep into my soul to pull out the perfect flavor.  It is gonna be beautiful and ugly at the same time, but we will create a culinary masterpiece! 

Also, if you are expecting perfect verse and syntax then i would go to Strunk and White.  I graduated NYU with an English major, but that is only because they did not have American.  I am gonna talk some shit on this Blog.  I have never blogged before and i do not care that it is a public forum.  Feel free to look over my shoulder if you must, but all i care about is my pursuit of real hand-crafted Pastrami!

The meat is resting well

So, the meat is air-drying nicely getting ready for a good rub to start the curing cycle.  It smells amazing.  The juniper berries in the brine really give it such an nice aroma.  I think letting the meat sit in water for 24-36 hours keeps the brine from being to overwhelming, and it does give the meat such a nice aroma.  The brine will really make it the pastrami so much more juicy and flavorful.

These are just two cuts in the batch.  I should have a bunch of samples for my test tasters once this batch is completed.

Aside: My mom wants me to be less crude with what I write in the blog.  She said Aukie never used such language.  Look... I am nice guy, but my role model is HOWARD STERN.  I do not know what I am gonna say next.  So, all you kids.. be careful what you read.. I GOT A BIG MOUTH!!

Back to the Pastrami.. i am gonna let it rest and dry another 12 hours before I start the cure.  I really want to rub my meat tonight, but I should make sure that it is good shape before I touch it again.

Who is Aukie?

Aukie was my grandfather on my mother's side of the family.  My grandparents lived in Portland, ME.  Throughout the 1950s and early 60s, Aukie had a Kosher butcher shop named Blumenthal & sons.  He was a swell guy, and people really loved him.  His meats were the best, and his customers enjoyed going to the shop to buy Kosher from Aukie.  The shop was a few blocks up from the harbor near Exchange Street in downtown Portland, ME.

I was named after Aukie, and we have the same size hands.  When I got married, I wore his ring.  The jeweler did not even have to resize the ring to fit my ring finger.  It slipped on like Cinderella's glass slipper.  Which one of you lucky ladies will get me to wear this badge of honor again?

Aukie died prematurely of a heart attack.  I actually never got to meet him, but I know we are kindred spirits.  After he died, his cousin Moishe try to pass off non-kosher meats.  There was a scandal, and the shop went closed.  The goal of my pastrami and deli meats is to restore the love of meat to my grandfather's legacy, plus I gotta get a good sandwich.

Bloodthirsty

Here is a picture of me.  I am depressed because i have no pastrami. 

I make my own sourdough rye, but the bread needs Pastrami. My rye is lonely.  I can hear the sourdough rye talk to me.. "Hey Adam, we need quality meat...not this half-ass Northern California hippy tri-tip bullshit.  We want real hand-cut Pastrami.  You know what we want.. the quality stuff..like you get on Houston and Ludlow streets.. we want the melt in your mouth, meaty goodness that u can only find on the Lower East Side.  We do not want Schwartz, Carnegie or Cantners... GIVE ME KATZ or Give me something better, bitch!"  For the record, sourdough can be very bitchy.. just like my ex-wife... queue canned laughter

Aside: Actually she is a very nice person, but she does not like meat eaters. More about the divorce later.

Ok.. Ok... I say to the bread.. I will create a pastrami that surpasses KATZ.  I will use all my over-indulging stomach muscles and create a delicacy that can rival King of all Kings.  So, I began my journey to build a pastrami for my demanding sourdough rye.

How the hell did the NY Giants loose to the pathetic Dallas Cowboys today!

WTF happened today?  I guess pay back is a bitch.  You might remember we bitch-slapped the 'boys in Texas earlier this year.  NFC East..they returned the favor.

So you want to see my smoker?  You know me.. stuff a buck in my pocket and I will give you what'cha like.. so fuck it.. here it is.  Go ahead and build it if you dare..

Status of latest batch of pastrami

ok.. let's get down to business.  The latest batch of pastrami started out as about 40lbs of brisket.  It has soaked for 5 days in my secret brine recipe(although I have a big mouth and will let out all of my secrets).  Then I soaked it in water for about 36 hours to leech out some salt from the brine. Now, it is resting and air dyring in the fridge.  Be very very quiet.. the meat is resting.. in about 24 hrs I will apply the first rub so that it can cure for about 10 days before I smoke it.  Once I have this batch in the curing fridge then I will start another batch in the brine.    I am gonna try Turkey Pastrami in respect to Thanksgiving..and the low cost of birds.

IT IS ALIVE!!

So, this is the first post to the Auckie's Deli Meats blog.  My name is Adam Stern.  I love Pastrami.  I graduated the California Culinary Academy.  I am a reform jew from New York who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.  There is no good Pastrami in Northern California.  I am about to change this... my handmade Pastrami is the best in the world!