Here is a picture of me. I am depressed because i have no pastrami.
I make my own sourdough rye, but the bread needs Pastrami. My rye is lonely. I can hear the sourdough rye talk to me.. "Hey Adam, we need quality meat...not this half-ass Northern California hippy tri-tip bullshit. We want real hand-cut Pastrami. You know what we want.. the quality stuff..like you get on Houston and Ludlow streets.. we want the melt in your mouth, meaty goodness that u can only find on the Lower East Side. We do not want Schwartz, Carnegie or Cantners... GIVE ME KATZ or Give me something better, bitch!" For the record, sourdough can be very bitchy.. just like my ex-wife... queue canned laughter
Aside: Actually she is a very nice person, but she does not like meat eaters. More about the divorce later.
Ok.. Ok... I say to the bread.. I will create a pastrami that surpasses KATZ. I will use all my over-indulging stomach muscles and create a delicacy that can rival King of all Kings. So, I began my journey to build a pastrami for my demanding sourdough rye.
Aukie- I have a question. How do people in law enforcement tell the difference between a meth lab and a pastrami smoking operation? Are you going to have to move your operation to a trailer in the middle of the desert and won't the lack of humidity hurt the meat?
ReplyDelete- Tommy in San Bernadino
Hi Tommy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for asking. Unfortunately, I cannot cook up Meth or distill Moonshine with the smoker. However, I have modelled it after other paraphanelia that would fall under the jurisditction of Prop 19. In fact, I affectionately call the smoker, "The Brisket Bong".
I am not sure how "The Brisket Bong" fits into my step-work at AA, but I am not about to go back to the Pot doctor to get my California Cannabis card so I can buy enough doopage to fill the "The Brisket Bong". Prices are still very high at the dispensaries (cough, cough..Prop 19) so I am going to put my funds into Brisket.
There are some really great farms in Northern California that have some great meat to sell, and I hear the cattle are quite attractive too.
Bottom line.. I would rather buy brisket from local producers rather than the marijuana produced in NorCal's Emerald Triangle. With just about two years of sobriety, I am gonna invest in BRISKET!
Thanks, Tommy.. and please layoff the hard stuff.
- Aukie's grandson